


Cracked My Head and Broke My Heart

by daasvedanya



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Healing, healing through friendship!, show why could you not give us these things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 06:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3240077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daasvedanya/pseuds/daasvedanya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jefferson knew a princess once, with electric blue eyes and a kindness in her bone that got her invited to teatime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cracked My Head and Broke My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> the show never explored belle post-asylum and curse breaking enough. not to mention jefferson knowing about the asylum and that he had been in one himself once. characters healing together and becoming friends is a weakness and that's what this fic is. i had no intentions while writing these two; read them as you please.

Jefferson knew a princess once, with electric blue eyes and a kindness in her bone that got her invited to teatime.

He normally didn't do things like this, but Grace was charmed, and what harm could there be in a smile so bright? (A dangerous way of thinking, he reminded himself, as Grace led the princess by the hand into their home, chattering on about teatime.)

Jefferson didn't know she was a princess yet, though she certainly had the demeanor of one. Over tea, she wonderfully wove her tale of how she came to be in this particular forest.

"So you're on your way back to your True Love?" Grace asked eagerly.

"Well — hold on, I never called him my True Love." Belle (for that was the name she gave upon meeting them, though the weight of it felt strange on his tongue) replied not unkindly. Grace looked a little sheepish. "He could have been, might still be... oh, I don't know. I might go back home. I haven't seen my father in quite some time and I miss him terribly. As I'm sure you would yours." She smiled at Jefferson in a way that caught him off-guard.

He was tempted to interrupt the two girls gabbing on about Grace's stuffed animals to ask about Belle's True Love, though he couldn't place why.

Belle had a considerable talent for disarming people, he realized. He stiffened as he grew more and more comfortable, but Grace had never had a friend before.

The forest was turning golden outside when Belle said she should be off and thanked them profusely for their hospitality.

"You could stay," Jefferson said suddenly. Grace's eyes went wide with excitement. "Only, Avonlea is still a day's journey and it will be dark soon."

Belle accepted happily, and that was how she stayed for supper.

When Grace was put to bed, Jefferson swung his head around to Belle, giving her a curious but hesitant gaze.

"She hasn't been that excited in some time," he began, stepping over to sit beside her in front of the fire. "Belle of Avonlea, I'm afraid you've made a friend for life."

Her smile was all teeth and dimples, true and honest, but broken in its way. "Two, I'd hope." And he hardly knew her, but he found himself thinking how like her that reply was.

"Two," he agreed. He watched her smooth over her dress and frowned. "You want to go back." It wasn't a question.

"Perhaps," she said slowly. "I don't know anymore."

"Who was it?" He asked and she chewed on the inside of her cheek thoughtfully and maybe he didn't really want to know.

"A man who was... difficult to love." He saw her weigh the words in her head. She laughed breathily. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

His glance darted to a dusty box in the corner of the room. "You'd be surprised."

She rhythmically tapped her fingers on her knee for several moments. She smiled, and drew herself up. "Rumpelstiltskin."

Normally he was better at masking a reaction, at not giving anything away, but when he heard the name of his former acquaintance, the shock barreled through him. "What, I —"

She cut him off. "Believe me, I've heard all the indignation and disbelief to last me a lifetime. When I first left with him, my father wouldn't hear of it." He was taken aback when she _laughed_ at his expression. "Oh yes, I willingly went to live with him. It was to save my people. It was the first time I ever felt like a hero, and it was one of the most exciting adventures I've had so far."

"You came to care for him," he observed. He chose not to tell Belle of his relation to the Dark One, not in circumstances like these.

"Yes. Or I thought I had. Not anymore? Oh, I don't know. It's not as romantic as it all is in your head, is it? Adventures, love. They're all rather messy when they actually happen." She laughed again and he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss that laugh of hers, because she was right, it was messy. He settled for a sympathetic look instead.

"Messy can be an understatement." He looked to Grace, sleeping in the cot.

"What happened to her mother?"

Jefferson snapped back. Had she always been this forward, or was that an influence of Rumpelstiltskin? "She died in childbirth." He swallowed in a grimace.

"I'm sorry." She didn't say it like she pitied him, she said it with a genuine lilt to her voice and he felt a compression on his heart. "You and Grace seem happy, though."

"We are. Oh, I could weather anything with her."

Belle's smile could have lit all the kingdoms in all the land. Even the Dark One must have been weakened by them. She was remarkable. He was almost tempted to go pay his old friend a visit.

She yawned. "I suppose if I have another day of traveling tomorrow, I should get some sleep."

He paused to try and mask his disappointment, but he had a feeling it wouldn't do much. "Yes. I... suppose so." That definitely didn't work. He jumped when he felt a hand on his and before she could speak, he supplied: "Your company's been nice. I'm glad you ruined our game of hide and seek."

A blush rose to her cheeks as she started to protest, and his laugh made her swat his arm. He went to bed happy, and also sad over her departure the next day. He rolled over and saw her form in the moonlight. She was... he sat up a little. She was shaking. And in the next moment he heard the soft sounds of her tiny sobs.

 

 

It was a quiet day in Storybrooke. Every day in Storybrooke was quiet. Grace was at school, leaving Jefferson with quite a bit of time on his hands. He had begun to make maps, which were a considerable improvement from hats. He wanted to know everything about this town the Queen had cursed them to, this land without magic.

He stayed to the shadows, to keep an eye on Grace and to explore. It was easier that way. When they had first arrived, he asked someone where they were, where the Enchanted Forest had been, that he had just been in Wonderland a moment ago. The person screamed. He ran, and ran fast.

It turned out he didn't know every part of Storybrooke. It happened when Grace was hurt at school and taken to the hospital. He was in a frenzy, tormented that he couldn't go to her. He saw the Queen and began to follow her, fully intending to strangle her. She went behind a mysterious door, somewhere he could not follow.

He became fixated on it, on what she was hiding. He wanted to know everything, everything and anything, so he could ruin her.

But it turned out knowing everything had consequences for him, too.

The princess, Belle, had never made it home, he found out.

 

 

"Papa! The tea's ready!"

It was easy to tell himself he was dreaming. It was easy to tell himself a lot of things. Her voice cut through everything.

Grace was busying herself at the table, getting the tea all set up for them. Her stuffed animals were around the table, and he could pretend he hadn't lost so much time. The doorbell rang as he was about to sit down and he cursed, cursed whoever thought it was okay to make him lose _more_ time with his daughter, but excused himself nonetheless.

The princess was not who he expected.

"Belle," he breathed.

She opened her mouth to speak several times but nothing came out. Her face contorted slightly. "My head hurts."

He ushered her in quickly, nearly tripping over his own feet. He didn't know what she had done after he had let her out, didn't know why she wasn't with Rumpelstiltskin now, and didn't know if he wanted to know. Instead: "Grace, we have a guest joining us for tea."

"Belle!"

Jefferson saw the princess tense, wondered if he shouldn't tell Grace to give her some space. After all, she's been through the same ordeal they all went through, but Belle was wrapping his daughter in her arms as if it was only yesterday that they had tea for the first time together.

"If it's not too much trouble..." Belle said, and he was sure he didn't like that quiver in her voice.

"Of course not!" Graced piped up for him. "I'll go get your cup!"

Belle gave him an apologetic look and he didn't have anything to say to that. Not yet. "Tea first. Tea always helps." She breathed, and it was heavy and full of gratitude and exhaustion.

Afternoon tea went well. Belle finally told Grace she was a princess in their land and Grace's eyes grew as wide as saucers. She promised to get Grace a princess dress of her very own when they returned. There was laughter and Jefferson almost convinced himself this was normal. After tea, Grace retreated to her bedroom to play and he was suspicious she had a very specific reason for that.

"I wanted to come say thank you. For getting me out. I... I didn't see you again afterwards." Belle said quietly as she helped him with the dishes.

Jefferson frowned. He had kept his distance because it was appropriate, because he was focused on Grace, because of a lot of reasons, some better than others. He thought she was lying. Well. Not lying, but not sharing the whole truth either. Of course it was like her to come express gratitude, to take the brave, first step. (He hardly knew her, he reminded himself. Again.)

"I was focused on Grace." He said, and it was true, but not completely.

"Of course, I-I didn't mean, I just - "

"Belle, it's - "

"I thought I was going to be in there forever." When he looked up, she was crying. His heart seized. It wasn't fair. And he knew exactly what she meant. He reached forward to clutch her hand. "I keep waking up. I keep having nightmares. I'm so scared this is all a dream." He thought she was done when she finally said: "And all he can focus on is revenge."

Jefferson swallowed thickly because that's what she was too. Revenge. He quickly let go of her hand. Belle was revenge for him, for what the Queen did to him and it turned out for what she did to Belle too.

"He can keep you safe." And he didn't sound entirely convinced of that himself.

"No one can keep me safe from my mind." She grit her teeth the moment he frowned. " _No_. I don't want your sad looks, I don't want _anyone's_ sad looks! I want to stop having nightmares, I want... I want to feel brave again."

He winced. "Belle, it's not a sad look, it's... you like stories, right?" She perked up a little. "Let me tell you one of mine."

 

 

"Your head must hurt too," she said once he had finished.

"Sometimes." He smiled a little. It was a natural response around her. The sky was growing dimmer, clouds were rolling in. She had been there for hours already.

"I should get going."

He wanted to tell her no, tell her she should stay, there was dessert to be had, after all, but he said none of those things. He nodded instead. "You know you're always welcome here. Grace adores you." She gave him a knowing smile and why does he say anything around her, really. "And if you need to be away from..."

She huffed as she pressed her hands against the couch and pushed herself to her feet. "I can handle the Dark One. Been doing it long enough now."

_Just not the nightmares_ , he thought, because he could relate. Those got to you.


End file.
